Well what a fab Xmas holiday (not) ! Unbelievably I am in the second full week of a mutating virus which has thrown at me nausea, fever, chest infection, vomiting, hacking cough, stomach and chest pain, and sudden periods of unconsciousness! There has been no escape and I’ve had to get through each episode in pure survival mode. Hubby has also been very poorly but managed, bless him, to drag himself around and look after me to boot over the last few days. I don’t think we have been so ill since we caught a hospital norovirus when my dad died eighteen months ago …..it has been horrific! However we are turning the corner now and slowly getting better….but it has made me ponder on how things can change in a heartbeat with drastic consequences.
I remember when OFSTED came….the mutating virus pales into insignificance….similar symptoms but with a feeling of unreality and the desire to burst into tears every few seconds! The unreality was compounded by my dad’s death and it was at that point I decided to throw in the PRU towel….I was exhausted by living on my nerves and following a timetable to oblivion thoughtfully designed by the LEA. Yes it has been a period of uncertainty but this has been outweighed by a sense of being in charge of my own destiny and proving myself on my own ability…..and I love it!!
Over Christmas I watched the beautiful animation of Bear Hunt which culminated in the rather sad end (for some) of Bear trudging back to his cave on his own. And yet to me this was entirely right….Bear represented fear of the unknown and encouraged that delicious childhood safety blanket of hiding under the bed covers. Only one child came close to meeting that fear half way but the adventure proved too much and ended in time-honoured fashion, safe in the bosom of the family.
But this is not to dismiss the trials and tribulations faced and conquered along the way.There were rivers and mountains and swamps which could not be circumnavigated….”have to go through it” rather than over and under it! And faced cheerfully too!…. What a beautiful day! We’re not scared!… And this is a message for education as well as life, surely? I fled in fear….from OFSTED, from failure, from outside forces, from anything that I felt I could not control! But fears need to be faced…and we need to go through it….those of you who are stronger, maybe younger and more energetic ….need to go after that bear and enter its dark lair, because there are no easy answers or ways forward or indeed heroes to conquer bears on our behalf!
I have chosen to hunt bears on my own terms and draw out my own battle lines ….I have forsworn the safety of my bed now and remain in the open. You will have your own ways of hunting and staying safe but we do it for one purpose…for the sake of our children. Have a beautiful day.